So I'll just say what everyone is thinking. Who the HELL answered that question in the +Oprah Winffrey  O Magazine article? Why were her narrow views given a voice? And who approved that ish? Motha Oprah?

Here's a re-post from @tamaranitai



My initial post (which most you will still read) is pretty positive but I had to address yesterday madness. When are people going to learn to mind their own business? Yes, we are all entitled to our opinions. However, if you have no relevance, expertise or actual substance to add to an issue, it's best you stay mute. Nowhere and I do mean nowhere in the Book of Beauty does it say that "if (and only if) you have a flat stomach" should you be allowed to SLAY. To whom ever decided that their sage advice was needed, I'd like you to look in the eyes of your fluffy daughter, favorite niece, little cousin or best friend and recite those exact words. Imagine the disappointing look in their eyes as they come to grips with the reality, that the very person whom is supposed to love and encourage them, is dismantling their form of beauty. Doesn't feel good does it? This is exactly what most women felt when reading your comments. Disappointed and hurt, not because of what you said but because you represent a great majority of consumers who probably share the same sentiment.



My good friend in beauty +GabriellaGlamour (and she's even more beautiful in person) is serving so much life with her crop top slay.

But OH do my Kurvy Girls bounce back! +Twitter, +Facebook, +Instagram, and a multitude of other social media sites were flooded with copious crop top wearing beauties. I couldn't have been more proud. From the smallest of the smalls to size 32+, these ladies rocked their crops. The world is definitely taking note that no longer will larger ladies be the brunt of fat jokes and shady fat shaming covered in "expert fashion advice". The jokes on you this time!



Drops Mic...



Now Back to our regularly scheduled program before I was so rudely interrupted. The VBL

Who would have thought that the visible belly line (better know as VBL) was a thing? Recently I have noticed more women; curvy and straight sized, talking about the VBL. And apparently that one 'O Magzine' staffer felt the same way. Go figure. As some of you may know, in recent months there have been several articles and discussions about the acceptance of diversity within plus sizes. Fat Girl Flow recently pinned an article about this very subject. I'll say this as plainly as possible. We need more variety Period! That really should be the end of this post. Sadly it isn't.

Like many curvy women I was raised and incessantly told how beautiful I was and that still continues to this day. I dressed and wore the clothes I felt were beautiful and complimented my shape. I never really fussed over how big my belly looked under my bathing suit or how giggly my arms were while waving good bye. All I knew and still know to be true is that I am beautiful. Never has my size gotten in the way of feeling beautiful or even determining what I will wear. If it fits and looks good on me then hey, I'm wearing it. It's such a relief that designers such as self are beginning to produce better quality plus fashion and what's even more exciting, it's sexy!

Why is my tummy such a BIG issue? No, really. Why? I'll wait...

Every woman wants to feel beautiful and sexy in the clothing she wears. For so long the curvier woman was encouraged to cover up, maybe show some cleavage, a little thigh but you dare not share that mid section. It is far past time for mainstream media to come to grips with our "over sized" midsections. The reality is most women have tummies, either from over eating, child birth, just being all out amazing at life, or simply breathing. Almost all of us have them. So why are we covering up? We're in the majority. So rock your curves. Wear that crop top. Strut in that new Bikini. It's OK let them stare.

On a lighter note, it is very refreshing to see more positive images of larger women and men in the media these days. In years past fat was always associated with lonely, lazy, funny, but definitely not fashionable. So I love seeing the SEXY images being displayed in the media today. Unfortunately, we still have work to do. I still have work to do.



Below are but a few images of beautiful women large and small displaying their beauty in all its crop top glory. Take a peak if you will.




Plus Size model @Jennifertealey (on IG) is no angel because she's Badass

I just had to let my roundness come through @Kurvyetiquette (on IG and Twitter)



Go Big or go home. @veganintheair (on IG) definitely let that staffer know how she felt.

Everyone wants to be beautiful. Almost all of us want to be acknowledged for our beauty. But how many of us truly believe in our beauty? This past weekend I was given the opportunity to speak to a group of women about the body. And the message was well received. The Women's ages ranged from the mid 30's to 70+. It was such an honor to have my message resonate with a mature crowd. I wanted to say that I was unaware of our older generations struggle with self and body acceptance. However, from several talks with my Nana it all makes sense. She often speaks about how she was treated differently due to her skin color. And this miss treatment stemmed from family members. I can only imagine what it's like to be told to your face on a daily basis that you're not beautiful. That type of abuse doesn't heal overnight. The scars don't fade with the use of a cream. That type of damage is what I like to call "The silent esteem killer". Psychological abuse has its way of eating your confidence, tearing apart dreams, and creating new generations that will repeat the cycle.

What society feeds us as beauty  but we shouldn't deny her beauty. However, most of us do not reflect this image.

The gist of my seminar touched on "The pieces of me". I shared a story about the day I realized I was fat. I know that sounds weird but it actually happened. It was later in life at a time when I "should" have been mulling over my appearance. During those years I was so into the whole of me that I couldn't fathom concentrating on the pieces of me. According to society I should have been more concerned with my chunky thighs, or the state of my chubby stomach. But you know what? I wasn't. Those were the last things on my mind. In no way was I going to let a little fat stop me from loving me. I was so oblivious to my fat that it really didn't exist. I say of this to remind women that there is a whole you connected to those pieces. Those pieces that you're so afraid to accept are waiting to become apart of the whole. They too should be recognized for their beauty. Pronounced freckles are facial accessories. Skinny ankles shouldn't be a reason to cover those beautiful legs. A flat chest means you probably sleep a little better. Am I always this optimistic? Absolutely and no at the same time. I understood at an early age it's all about perception and that has to be learned. Who are you not to acknowledge the beauty that was bestowed upon you? Now, I completely understand the need and want to change somethings. None of us is perfect, including my self. We all have things we'd like to change or improve about ourselves. However, this is about loving the skin you're in at this present moment.



Miss, Christina and Myself

Women we have to learn our value outside of the mirror. We need to begin focusing on the whole self and not just pieces of ourselves. Because of esteem killers; social media, magazines, television/movies we've lost sight of how we naturally look. We've developed a culture of photo shop and filters so that we fall in love with the false perceptions of beauty. Those outlets will have you believe that your image is not worthy of being praised as beautiful. Everyday that I log into my numerous social media accounts I'm reminded that I need to bind my tummy, join a 10 pounds down challenge, care that my hair isn't long, and even lighten my skin complexion. When is social media going to tell me I'm pretty? When are they going to let up on the whitening of America? When will I be enough as I am? Never, not until we demand it. Not until we understand that the media only pushes out what they know we'll buy. They understand how self hating we are. There is an understanding that women feel the need to always improve what was already perfect. Let's practice falling in love with the real images in the bathroom mirror. Maybe the media bandwagon will catch on. Just maybe.

Conference Coordinator, Mrs. Pamela Hill

Ladies, how do you define your self? Is the whole you included? Or do you pick yourself apart and only acknowledge the "good parts"? The time is well overdue for us to begin loving the whole self. It's time to start digging deep and understanding the true reasons as to why you feel a particular way about yourself. Of course I wouldn't ask anything of you that I too am not willing to do or haven't done myself. I've been encouraging this practice since my sophomore year in college and I'll continue until my last breath has parted my lips. Yes, self worth and positive body awareness is that important to me.

 

1.  Make sure your sweats fit your entire behind. This is essential to looking put-together.
2. Your top should be a t-shirt, crop top, sweater, off the shoulder. No holes accepted.
3. Hair is essential. During these low maintenance times who wants to fuss about hair? This is not an invitation to throw on your grandmother's church wig. Low or high messy buns are cute and girly, silk scarves will definitely  do the trick when paired with a pair of cute glasses or shades. I like to call this look the "celeb chill look". Trust, I've achieved this look multiple times. .

, I heard the same insecurities reveal themselves. Each of these ladies no matter the waist size or education, all had similar hang ups about their bodies. I was a bit perplexed. You often hear of talk shows producing segments about beautiful accomplished women with very little self esteem. But I'd never actually spoken to a pretty girl that felt un-pretty. 

One night while partying with the girls I overheard two young ladies chatting it up at the local watering hole. The conversation was very racy and controversial. You guessed it, hair. Natural hair vs weave. One young lady had a head full of beautiful, thick, black hair. Her friend, who I'm guessing wasn't a very close friend, was trying to convince the other to perm or install a weave unit. She was explaining how much more attractiveness her friend would exude if her hair was styled a particular way. The not so close friend began telling her how much men preferred women to look a certain way. By then I was livid and had to stop listening. 


We are more than our hairstyles or the bodies we adorn with expensive trendy clothing everyday. And conversations like that show the work that is still needed in our "dainty" community. No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing your hair a certain way or a specific outfit to please a significant other. However, the thinking that evoked such a conversation is heard constant around the world. Daily women are taught to be pleasing to the eye. Yet, where are the dialogues teaching our young women to be and look pleasing to themselves. 

KURVY ETIQUETTE'S MISSION


In 2014 I want to begin dialogues and construct a plan to get women on track with loving themselves completely, without the pressure of pleasing another. It's my vision that women of all sizes learn to love and enjoy the bodies they are in. Of course, there is nothing wrong with change. In fact change is constant and needed in order to evolve. Who we truly are, how we perceive ourselves and how we evolve are my concerns. Taking the appropriate measures to ensure your complete happiness and body-esteem are essential to your evolution. The steps needed in understanding your worth and being comfortable in your body are the building blocks to sexiness. And from the mouths of several men, there is nothing sexier than a confident woman. Through motivational segments, simple applications to achieve inner and external sex appeal, and  a host of other easy to use empowerment tools, KEBB will inspire a movement for positive body consciousness and self worth.

Kurvy Brei