Everyone wants to be beautiful. Almost all of us want to be acknowledged for our beauty. But how many of us truly believe in our beauty? This past weekend I was given the opportunity to speak to a group of women about the body. And the message was well received. The Women's ages ranged from the mid 30's to 70+. It was such an honor to have my message resonate with a mature crowd. I wanted to say that I was unaware of our older generations struggle with self and body acceptance. However, from several talks with my Nana it all makes sense. She often speaks about how she was treated differently due to her skin color. And this miss treatment stemmed from family members. I can only imagine what it's like to be told to your face on a daily basis that you're not beautiful. That type of abuse doesn't heal overnight. The scars don't fade with the use of a cream. That type of damage is what I like to call "The silent esteem killer". Psychological abuse has its way of eating your confidence, tearing apart dreams, and creating new generations that will repeat the cycle.

What society feeds us as beauty  but we shouldn't deny her beauty. However, most of us do not reflect this image.

The gist of my seminar touched on "The pieces of me". I shared a story about the day I realized I was fat. I know that sounds weird but it actually happened. It was later in life at a time when I "should" have been mulling over my appearance. During those years I was so into the whole of me that I couldn't fathom concentrating on the pieces of me. According to society I should have been more concerned with my chunky thighs, or the state of my chubby stomach. But you know what? I wasn't. Those were the last things on my mind. In no way was I going to let a little fat stop me from loving me. I was so oblivious to my fat that it really didn't exist. I say of this to remind women that there is a whole you connected to those pieces. Those pieces that you're so afraid to accept are waiting to become apart of the whole. They too should be recognized for their beauty. Pronounced freckles are facial accessories. Skinny ankles shouldn't be a reason to cover those beautiful legs. A flat chest means you probably sleep a little better. Am I always this optimistic? Absolutely and no at the same time. I understood at an early age it's all about perception and that has to be learned. Who are you not to acknowledge the beauty that was bestowed upon you? Now, I completely understand the need and want to change somethings. None of us is perfect, including my self. We all have things we'd like to change or improve about ourselves. However, this is about loving the skin you're in at this present moment.



Miss, Christina and Myself

Women we have to learn our value outside of the mirror. We need to begin focusing on the whole self and not just pieces of ourselves. Because of esteem killers; social media, magazines, television/movies we've lost sight of how we naturally look. We've developed a culture of photo shop and filters so that we fall in love with the false perceptions of beauty. Those outlets will have you believe that your image is not worthy of being praised as beautiful. Everyday that I log into my numerous social media accounts I'm reminded that I need to bind my tummy, join a 10 pounds down challenge, care that my hair isn't long, and even lighten my skin complexion. When is social media going to tell me I'm pretty? When are they going to let up on the whitening of America? When will I be enough as I am? Never, not until we demand it. Not until we understand that the media only pushes out what they know we'll buy. They understand how self hating we are. There is an understanding that women feel the need to always improve what was already perfect. Let's practice falling in love with the real images in the bathroom mirror. Maybe the media bandwagon will catch on. Just maybe.

Conference Coordinator, Mrs. Pamela Hill

Ladies, how do you define your self? Is the whole you included? Or do you pick yourself apart and only acknowledge the "good parts"? The time is well overdue for us to begin loving the whole self. It's time to start digging deep and understanding the true reasons as to why you feel a particular way about yourself. Of course I wouldn't ask anything of you that I too am not willing to do or haven't done myself. I've been encouraging this practice since my sophomore year in college and I'll continue until my last breath has parted my lips. Yes, self worth and positive body awareness is that important to me.

 

What is Beauty? Is it the curve of a woman's back? Is it her strength and resilience? Is a woman's beauty defined by how lady like she is? This question is such a broad and open-ended question, yet, we try to answer it everyday. We answer this question through the clothes we wear, our reaction to different body types. We even answer this question through our actions. Each of us in some way is displaying our version of beauty every second of the day. With such a broad question with multiple answers, why do we choose to pigeonhole our expressions? As the old saying goes

                Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

 With over 6 billion people on the planet you'd think that by now we'd understand there are over 6 billion versions of beautiful.

There are 6 BILLION versions of beauty.

Let that sink in a bit. Your beauty is unique to you simply because you're you. Our fat thighs, skinny waist, long or short hair, big feet and slim build have absolutely nothing to do with our beauty. It's all about you. Your external beauty is simply an extension of your true beauty. Again, your 32 or 55 inch waist is NOT a determinate of your beauty.


Do we live in a world where malnourished models are praised for their " timeless " beauty? Absolutely! Is it easier to be labeled sexy with 34-32-38 as your body measurements? Of course, that's the society we live in. However, this does not have to alter the way you see yourself. Yes, the very day woman would like to lose a few pounds but until then, her self esteem shouldn't waiver and yours shouldn't either.


Beauty is physical. Beauty is strength. Beauty is external. Beauty is quiet. Beauty is bold. Beauty is tangible. Beauty is attainable. Beauty is internal. Beauty is YOU.



These images are not the property of KEBB.

, I heard the same insecurities reveal themselves. Each of these ladies no matter the waist size or education, all had similar hang ups about their bodies. I was a bit perplexed. You often hear of talk shows producing segments about beautiful accomplished women with very little self esteem. But I'd never actually spoken to a pretty girl that felt un-pretty. 

One night while partying with the girls I overheard two young ladies chatting it up at the local watering hole. The conversation was very racy and controversial. You guessed it, hair. Natural hair vs weave. One young lady had a head full of beautiful, thick, black hair. Her friend, who I'm guessing wasn't a very close friend, was trying to convince the other to perm or install a weave unit. She was explaining how much more attractiveness her friend would exude if her hair was styled a particular way. The not so close friend began telling her how much men preferred women to look a certain way. By then I was livid and had to stop listening. 


We are more than our hairstyles or the bodies we adorn with expensive trendy clothing everyday. And conversations like that show the work that is still needed in our "dainty" community. No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing your hair a certain way or a specific outfit to please a significant other. However, the thinking that evoked such a conversation is heard constant around the world. Daily women are taught to be pleasing to the eye. Yet, where are the dialogues teaching our young women to be and look pleasing to themselves. 

KURVY ETIQUETTE'S MISSION


In 2014 I want to begin dialogues and construct a plan to get women on track with loving themselves completely, without the pressure of pleasing another. It's my vision that women of all sizes learn to love and enjoy the bodies they are in. Of course, there is nothing wrong with change. In fact change is constant and needed in order to evolve. Who we truly are, how we perceive ourselves and how we evolve are my concerns. Taking the appropriate measures to ensure your complete happiness and body-esteem are essential to your evolution. The steps needed in understanding your worth and being comfortable in your body are the building blocks to sexiness. And from the mouths of several men, there is nothing sexier than a confident woman. Through motivational segments, simple applications to achieve inner and external sex appeal, and  a host of other easy to use empowerment tools, KEBB will inspire a movement for positive body consciousness and self worth.

Kurvy Brei